meeting and greeting: gay bars

a reader asks:  "where can i find partners to play with and develop my oral skills?"  how do you find cock?  it's such a basic question that it never occurred to me to write about it.  the internet has radically changed the worlds of meeting and hooking-up over the past ten to fifteen years.  older ways of meeting and greeting like bars and buddy booths and sex clubs suffered for a while, but they seem to be on the rebound.

bars are great places to meet and greet and socialize, especially if you like to drink.  i'm not much of a drinker, so i don't tend to hang out in bars, but they do have certain advantages.  you get to meet people in person, chat a little to see if you like each other, and then decide whether to take it to another level.  another advantage is that there's little stigma associated with walking into a gay bar, and they are more or less friendly places without a lot of semi-secret, coded behavior.

in large cities like new york, neighborhood bars have distinct flavors and distinct kinds of clientele.  the type of guy who hangs out at g-bar in chelsea is not the same kind of guy you'd meet--generally speaking--at the cock in the east village.  at g-bar one is more likely to meet young, white professionals, dressed in prada and discussing their wall street bonuses or the latest fashion trend they initiated.  an east village bar is more likely to attract people who are a little more alternative, maybe with tattoos, maybe with an edgy haircut, maybe with less attitude and a whole lot more fun in bed.  (sorry, i know my bias is slipping in here!)

another thing to know about bars is that they tend to be popular on certain evenings of the week and at certain times.  new york is a late city.  some bars don't start hopping until midnight or later.  the younger crowd, especially, waits until early morning to make its appearance.

sometimes bars host parties that can be a lot of fun. daniel nardicio, for instance, is a well-known party promoter who hosts fun events in new york.  his famous underwear parties are generally off-the-hook, low-attitude, sexy spaces to meet and greet and get down on your knees or put someone down on his knees.  there are also magazines, some call them "fag-rags," that are generally published weekly and list the main cultural, theatrical, musical, dining, and bar events.  new york's main one is next magazine.

disadvantages to bars are that people find talking about sex difficult and so it can be hard to say:  "gee, i'm looking for a cock to practice on."  it's hard to move from talking about your fire island share's new wood deck to the wood in your pants.  another disadvantage is that it can be difficult to get any kind of idea what the person looks like with his clothes off, or even more important--what he likes to "do" in bed!

these disadvantages, i believe, are really what fueled the explosion of online sites for hooking up, sites like manhunt, recon, gaydar, gayromeo, etc.  i'll write about these on my next post...